A drunk guy was stumbling down the street, one foot on the curb, the other in the gutter. A cop pulls up and says"You're drunk buddy, I'm going to have to take you in". The man asks "Are ya absilittly shurz I'm drunk occifer". The cop responds "Yea I'm sure buddy, let's roll". Breathing a sigh of relief, the man says "Thanks goodness, I waz just hedin down ta my wood shop ta even out my legs".