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Discussion Starter #1
"NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH"

"NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH"

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! ..
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this anymore, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig!" she retorted indignantly.
'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!"

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man, 'Whooza talkin' about sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '


$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!
 

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Gary Lenon said:
Where is the guy that deletes Allan's post when we need him?
Too busy hacking in to delete single seater posts!!! :lol:
 

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Discussion Starter #6
A very Heart-warming story

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved playing golf.

One day in his despair, he decided to end it all. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all!

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm and can still do things. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.

He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"

He said, "I'm NOT happy you Moron, my balls itch and it's driving me crazy."



Heart-warming stories like this just make me want to cry. :cry:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Touching romantic story


A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. Only one survivor washed up on the island. He couldn't believe his eyes but it was Nancy Pelosi. :shock:
That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get those "feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months.
Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, "Take the dog for a walk!"
:lol: :lol:
 
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